metrosexuals are fucking stupid

On my list of people who are fucking stupid the metrosexual male is right up in the top five .

You know who they are, they’re fucking everywhere! Comparing shampoo bottles or polishing their rings. The ones who get upset when you touch their hair or the ones who ask to use you’re your astringent for the pimple on their nose. The ones who know what fucking astringent is! In other words the ones with no dicks (makes their skinny jeans bulge) balls, muscles or testosterone!

Taking a shower and brushing your teeth isn’t enough anymore… you need to get “manscaped”! This can not be for the sake of getting laid cause seriously fucker you might be gay, bisexual or hetro but this is totally fucking immaterial as you’ve obviously taken yourself as your own object of love.
You can not think that this is appealing to women (the ones with a personality). I mean, how many pornos have you seen lately with a lonely housewife answering the door in her robe to find the metrosexual Avon salesman at her door?

I can not bring myself to do it, when you tell me about how you had your eyebrows dyed the other day how am I supposed to fuck you after that?

Listen being self obsessed isn’t a good trait in either sex, in other words metrosexuality is a NEGATIVE term. When I hear someone define them as such I wonder if this person is ASKING me to pick up a fucking crowbar and spray their organs around the motherfucking room. Well congratulations to you then because now you can go out and buy stuff to make you look coool instead of actuallu having to be cool!

Go watch American Psycho five or six times. To his "friends," who can look at a guy and immediately identify the price and designer of every article of clothing he is wearing, Patrick Bateman is someone to be emulated. He can do 1000 sit-ups. He uses deep pore cleanser lotion and a herb-mint facial mask. He is rich, good-looking, young, and funny. Of course, he's a raging homicidal psychopath in his spare time. But why would that matter? He's fabulous!

When I wake up in the morning and I decide I totally just hate everything I want to be able to walk up to my man say:”honey, I want that wall broken down, I will do something naughty to say thank you” He should then say:” Of cours dear, let me just call Bill and Bob to come over and help me”
He should not say: “ I’m getting sweeeaaatttyyy. Can I stooop now”? pleeeeaaase??”

So seriously jesus.. grow a pair!!