Having a baby is not normal. It is a freakish grotesque abomination!
Just think about it, you have a serpent-like monster plant something inside your uterus and then, after its leached its very life force out of you it tears its way out of you in a fucking bloodied, gooey minging mess! They even made a movie about it! Look!
Everyone thinks that their baby is a miracle. Well, it fucking isn’t! If babies are miracles then miracles are dropping down the chute in trailer parks all across the motherfucking world.It turns perfectly cool badass people into squealing retards and the parents can suddenly only talk about their grown sperm! When asked if I want to hold the baby I respond with “Fuck No” which is somehow interpreted as “Oh yes! Please!”. Mommies I do not want to touch your cunt fruit. I do not want to be invited over for drinks to watch the DVD of the miracle. I do not want to see the pictures show up in my facebook feed.
In my mind your bellies are filled with chocolate and marshmallow and when the baby arrives, the motherfucking stork dropped it down the chimney! This is my fantasy and it keeps me happy.
Babies are annoying, they smell bad, they make a noise, they don’t know anything and you can’t send them to labour camps to learn a skill or make shoes. They should not be allowed in public places, anywhere near other people like restaurants, shopping malls and most certainly not in airplanes. I would have checked it with the baggage or at the very least have had the decency to put it in the overhead compartment with all the other crap!
They ogle tits openly (not only their mother’s, mind you, but any boob which gets within their limited range of vision), they have a fascination with their own bodies which borders on the obscene (and they don’t hesitate to reveal this to strangers), they even play with their own excrement and drool on others. Would we tolerate this from any other source? I think fucking not!
There are perfectly fine take away children in orphanages across the world that you can keep and love for 2 years and then send them off to boarding school. God's only son had all his diapers changed by Mary and Joseph. Maybe God doesn't like babies either. Have I gone too far? Who cares?