Friday, December 18, 2009

Most Disturbing Twilight Products

Right this dildo is pretty and it sparkles. Oh! Don't forget to throw it in the fridge before using it though, so you're sure to get that cold, lifeless feeling a real vamp's sparkly cock would be sure to have.
Well, they are Twipanties. Not much to say about these really... except well... DID YOU NOTICE ED CULLINS MOUTH ON THE INSIDE OF THE CROTCH?
And of course you'll need a Twibra to complete the set, this comes with the Cullins Family Crest. You know.. that family you will never belong to...
Yes, why wouldn't you want a pissed off giant floating Vampire stalker head staring at you while you shower?
Not really sure.what.this.means BUT if your mommy really is a "Bella", that means you are a demon spawn whose father had to rip through your mommy's stomach with his vampire teeth to release you from her womb. You also will grow abnormally fast, be a child forever, and have a totally consensual love affair with a werewolf 17 years your senior. So that's good.
Get the shadowy Ed Cullin to stand guard over your bed and remind you that you shouldn't have sex before marriage... and that it'll probably kill you
Yes this was bound to happen. Somebody was bound to make felt plush of Bella's womb with baby Renesmee inside. My question is... WHY IN THE MOTHERFUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS AND WHO THE FUCK PLAYS WITH THIS???

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